Though there have been so many ups and downs more downs than up I continue to push forward. I have lived the dreams others wish for but have been through things most people will not go through in 3 life times.
At one point my 2 step children came to live with us ages 9 and 12. One boy one girl our son was 1 1/2 at the time. Talk about a difficult time omg it was even worse than that. We had moved to Florida so I could be near my Dad who had since remarried my best friends Mom. I did the hook-up... The kids moved in January 1981 the third week and Feb 1st my husband fell off o horse and broke his back and was unable to walk for a a long period of time of which he spent 4 agonizing months in Pembroke Pines hospital. We had no money, no food, only some jewelry I had accumulated through the years. My girlfriend and I went to pawn shops and I sold everything I had ever had. Except for the first piece my husband ever gave me. That was enough money for a couple of months but not enough. I didn't have a Florida License for Cosmetology and couldn't go to school because of the 3 kids. So I went to a local Pizzeria and became a waitress from 7 pm until 1 am and my Dad stayed with the kids. Thought I would never survive.
My husband had been in business with a close friend of ours but he never gave us a dime when this happened so I was 5 months behind on my mortgage when my husband returned home with a full body brace from the hospital. 2 weeks later he went back to work in a dump truck but we were to far behind to catch up and they put our home in foreclosure. By that time a was distraught,confused, sad, and totally lost, but my son kept me going as I needed to nuture him and protect him. That was the only thing I could do. And of course take good care of my stepchildren and my husband. So I forgot about myself.
After a long year my step-children wanted to visit their Mom abroad. I was very hesitant and didn't want too send them but I knew how it was to grow up without a Mom. So we sent them  and they never came back. They said they enjoyed the freedom they had gotten from her, and that we were to strict      We didn't see it strict only concerned and wanting the best for them. But children don't realize that when they are young. Even though my step-son was very jealous of our son and did very spiteful things to him.  At one point my son had to sleep between my husband and I for fear that my step-son would harm the baby. He would let him out in the morning to follow him to the bus stop then get on the bus and wave goodbye. I wasn't aware of this until one of neighbors phoned me and said my son was at her house with his diapers on. I almost died of fear and humiliation. There were so many other situations and I just became very scared to leave the together. What an awful way of living your life at 27 years old. There were many times I questioned this life of mine. Even thought of taking my son and running away, But I didn't want to be a statistic. So when the the step-children didn't return it became a little easier but I had so much guilt (for no reason) and my poor husband was devastated. But we continued on.
Then the time came when the bank was to foreclose, we had 10 days left, and luckily we sold right before with a loss of course. We would we go what would we do. We had no money and a dump truck and a Bronco. So we decided to drive to  North Florida and toss a coin of which direction we would go west or north. Well the coin read west and the three of us were on our way.