Gulty Mom

When they are born and all your wishes come true, when there is nothing in the world you wouldn't do for them, you never expect to look at them behind the glass. As my only child and after several years of trying to get pregnant and after all the fertility drugs my dreams became reality 1979. My beautiful son was born. I swore I would never be the Mother that my mother was to me. I would love this child and protect him with all my being. And I did. Maybe too much.
As a poor child and a motherless child, I was raised by my Dad,(really I raised him and my younger brother) whom I adore. My Dad was my life and my brother was my world, why wouldn't I adore this child, I had the motherly instinct from the age of 8.
I married the man of my dreams, with a lot of baggage, 3 other children, from 2 previous wives. OMG I was young and so in love I didn't care about any of the baggage, I just wanted this beautiful sensitive man. He is 12 years older and would do anything in the world for me I knew he would be a great father and wonderful husband. (so they say about the jewish men)lol . So we had the age difference, different religion, and he had been married twice before. Who would have ever guessed. My Italian family were having bets at  the wedding on how long this would last. He had been a millionaire before we got married and lost everything, but no one knew that ..they just assumed I married him for the money not knowing we borrowed money from Uncle Johnny to have the party. Well that was 36 years ago so the gamblers lost alot of money on that bet. I was a little nervous myself, but here we are.